Hell
2003-10-03 at 8:27 a.m.
Yesterday...
No, I'm not going to quote Beatles lyrics, I'm just reflecting back onto one of the most hectic days I've ever had. I really should write a book. It would make everyone grateful they aren't me and make infertile couples a little happier to be childless. Yesterday was the pinnacle of parenting at its worst. It was one of those days you hear about and hope never happens to you. I've blocked much of it out in an attempt to keep my sanity, but I'll see what, if anything, I can recall...
G awoke at the crack of fucking dawn again, and it was my turn to get up with him. He was in a piss-poor mood from the word go. He's really turning into a moody little shit. Nothing made him happy all morning.
The others woke up shortly thereafter, and fought from the second their little eyes saw daylight. I love it (insert sarcasm), when the first words I mutter to them are, "Good m - WILL YOU STOP THAT?! GET OFF OF HIM! STOP THAT STOMPING! GIVE IT BACK TO HIM, HE HAD IT FIRST!"
I got everyone dressed and attempted to take a shower. One of the things I miss about being childless is being able to take a shower without the background noise of children trying to kill each other. J came upstairs crying, because E looked at him or some damn thing. He later came up crying again, because E pushed him and caused him to bite his tongue. I called to E to ask him to stop, but he refused to come up. I threatened that if he didn't come upstairs, I wouldn't let him use the computer for the rest of the day. He still refused. Before completing the daily hygiene process, I had to get out of the shower twice, dripping wet and soapy, to referree fights between G and J. Finally, when I was thoroughly bathed, rinsed and dressed, I informed E of his loss of privledge as a result of his failure to comply with my request.
The shit hit the fan and he began a rage.
Why does this always happen after we tell the doctor, "Oh, E's doing much better!"
Grumblesnarfflemuffledammitohell...
I had to restrain him for forty five minutes until he calmed down. I couldn't give him an additional dose of medication, because we were all out of it. It was one of the many things I had to do yesterday, picking up his meds.
I got everyone re-dressed (they had all either spilled something on themselves or stripped) and we were finally able to leave the house.
I hadn't even gotten the fucking door open before all three children started fighting over who gets the headphones in the car (we only have two sets), which DVD we would watch and who's going to get a treat. Christ. When I was a kid... (yes, I'm showing my age), I had AM radio and scenery to keep me entertained. These brats can't drive six feet without the cineplex being in full swing. It's not enough that they get DVDs to watch - they now each want their own movies playing. Spoiled brats.
Our first stop was the grocery store. We had the customary "I don't want to sit in the cart I walk like big boy" fight. We had the "I want a treat" fight. I had three rowdy kids going in three different directions, talking non-stop and begging for everything they see. I couldn't even think what the hell I was there to buy. I had G sitting in one of those carts shaped like a truck. These are really cute and all... but they sit dangerously low to the ground. Not dangerous for the child... dangerous for the merchandise.
I stopped the cart at an end-cap to ponder the what-the-fuck-to-cook-for-dinner decision. Soon, I hear the sound of glass breaking and became aware of the aroma of spaghetti sauce on my leg. G had taken it upon himself to see if jars bounce.
They don't.
I took my tomato stained leg over to the nearest employee and explained what happened. Everyone there is so nice. I offered to pay for the jar and she said, "Oh don't be silly! It was an accident!"
I was so embarrassed, I couldn't concentrate on shopping after that. I ended up leaving without the majority of my list.
Still smelling like an Italian restaurant, we then went to Target for E's meds. G objected, quite vocally, to having to sit in a shopping cart. As you can tell, my kids have confinement issues, as well as sleep issues. He pitched the loudest fit you've ever heard over having to sit in that seat and would have escaped had it not been for the safety straps. Shit, I'd give everything I own to be able to sit down and have someone push my ass around the store.
I arrived at the pharmacy just in time to see them rolling down the doors for lunch. I took the shopping cart form zero to sixty down the aisle, screaming, "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" They were kind enough to open the door for me. I think they probably didn't want to have to listen to my kids scream for an hour and figured it would benefit everyone to wait on me and get me the hell out of the store as quickly as possible.
The pharmacist told me he only had a few Cl-oni-dine left but that he would blah blah blah blah (the rest was drowned out by G screaming to get out of the cart, E begging me to buy him a toy and J trying to break the blood pressure machine). Who the hell knows what he was saying. He filled the rx, or part of it, and we resumed our shopping. E and J took turns getting lost, by stopping every five feet to look at things. By the time we checked out, G was wailing so loudly, all eyes were on us. I overheard several people say things such as, "... can't she keep that kid quiet" and "What a brat... "
I was in hell with a coat on.
I was never so glad to get in the car and away from the public. I don't mind (as much) the kids misbehaving and screaming when it's only us. I can't handle it in public. I stopped and got us some lunch. I had planned all along to take the kids to a park and let them eat and run around for a bit, but I didn't feel as if I should have rewarded them for their deplorable behavior, nor did I feel up to it in any way. Besides, little Mr. Fit Thrower had fallen asleep on the way home.
When we got home, I gave the kids their lunch and got online to check my stuff... more "good" news awaited me.
Stay tuned for chapter two of "The Day From Hell" coming soon to a computer near you!