Why? Why?

2004-05-17 at 8:43 a.m.


Yesterday was not a good day.

Yesterday, I was painfully reminded, yet again, that my kids are not normal.

I hate days like this. Warm, breezy, sunny blue skies... Days the kids can't resist going outside. I hate to deny them. What kind of cruel parent wouldn't allow her children to be outdoors on a beautiful spring day like yesterday? I certainly couldn't.

My new neighbors. They're awesome. They're the type of people you meet and immediately love and trust. They are so good with kids and seem to have taken a liking to mine. J sensed this and in turn, immediately fell in love with them. Whenever he sees them, he throws caution to the wind and darts out the door the see them. When he's around these people, I see how different J is. How socially inept he is. How weird he is...

J rambles on about nothing in particular. He goes on and on and seldom makes sense, except to himself. Yesterday was no exception. T and D were outside, doing yard work, when J invited himself into their day. He interrupted their planting and took it upon himself to go into their house to play. He ran back and forth between our house and theirs, never once looking for cars, despite repeated warnings from T and D and from me.

I decided to give the couple a break from the wrath that is J. I went over and tried to tell him it was time to come home. He objected. Not in a typical five year old, "I don't want to go" fashion, but in the form of a psychotic rage. So psychotic in face, that other neighbors came out of their homes and a crowd began to form.

J ran down the street away from me, screaming. He threw himself to the ground and rolled back and forth. People watched, helpless and stunned. While their faces showed sympathy for what I was experiencing, they also showed disgust and amazement and what this weird little boy was doing.

It made me realize what I have always suspected, but have been in denial to admit.

J is different.

No other five year old behaves quite this way. I mean, sure... all five year olds have moments, when they're tired, overstimulated, hungry or otherwise not themselves. They'll throw tantrums and be oppositional. That wasn't like this. This was something I'd never experienced. This was scary and embarrassing.

I finally had T corner J while I ran to him and grabbed him. I carried him into the house and tried to calm him down. After half an hour of constant screaming, he settled down and said he wanted to go to his room to play. Shortly thereafter, T came over and said that J had opened his window and was trying to push the screen out.

Great. Now the dumb kid is trying to jump out of second story windows.

I hope that starting kindergarten later this summer will help J behave a little more normally. I hate the thought of him being labeled by kids, teachers and other onlookers as �the weird kid� or worse.

E went through something to similar to this, but I don't think it was to this degree. Eventually, he outgrew it, but other afflictions took its place.

All three of my boys have problems with being outside. They�re like prisoners set free. They all turn into inhuman little monsters, who act like they�ve never seen the light of day. If none of them ever go out again and embarrass me like they did yesterday, it would suit me just fine.

I�m actually looking forward to a long, grueling winter, confined to the indoors.



last & next

new old profile notes design host