Wild Weekend

2004-09-27 at 9:19 a.m.


This weekend was one big Calgon commercial from start to finish, only no one came to "take me away".

Courtesy of E taking some type of food substance to his room unbeknownst to me, our house has been overrun by gnats. They originated in E's trash can and have done an urban sprawl into other areas of my otherwise spotless home. I thought I could kill the little bastards by filling a sink full of water and attracting them to the awaiting water with a sliced orange. It worked! Except...

Gnats, evidently, can swim.

I jumped for joy Friday morning when I found a dozen or so of the little motherfuckers floating in my guest bathroom sink. All my whooping and hollering must have aroused them and they took off flying throughout the room. Since then, I've tried frying them in mid air with my hair dryer, dousing them with Lysol and thwapping them against the bathroom mirror. Anything to avoid using Raid, which is both messy and foul-smelling. I think I finally have them down to a stark minimum. If there is indeed a god and should I be headed his way someday (stop laughing), I intend to ask him just what was the reasoning behind gnats. What purpose do they actually serve?

Very, very early Saturday morning, I was awakened by every damn light in the upstairs being turned on. I got up to see at whom to yell, and found E and his bathroom, both covered in the biggest mess I'd ever seen. Apparently, he tried to make it to the bathroom on time and didn't. I'd never seen such a mess. I put E in the shower and cleaned his bathroom, from top to bottom, at 4:30am. Just how I wanted to spend my time.

Saturday, while K slept in for the 38th day in a row, I got up with my wild children. It never ceases to amaze me, the things about which my children find to fight.

Iss a couch!! screams the three year old...

It's a sofa!! screams the six year old...

After a couple of hours of this, I was ready to climb atop the roof and plummet to a certain death.

K had promised a neighbor that he would help him install their new mailbox, because our neighbor just had heart surgery. K spent all morning sleeping or lazing around the house like a bum, until finally our neighbor built a temporary mailbox himself. I was so mad at K, I was seething. I told him in exchange for pissing me off, he got the honor of taking J to his friend's birthday party at 11:00am. He agreed.

This was J's first birthday party. He had been invited to one a couple of years ago, but was sick, so this was officially his first. I was glad to hear that this little boy genuinely liked J and didn't just invite him because he had invited all the boys in his class.

K and J had no sooner returned from that party before we had to get E ready for his friend's party. This one was for a friend at his old school, whom E misses dearly. It was so cute to see them reunited. I really like his friend, Brendan. He has the most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen on a person!

Since the party was right around the corner from a library, I took J in with me to get some books, while K waited in the car with a sleeping G. Later that night, I asked J what his favorite part of the day was, expecting to hear all about the party. Instead, he said, "Going to the library with you, Mommy!"

*Sniff* My little boy...

After we got our books, since there wasn't enough time to drive all the way home and back, we drove around to kill time before we had to get E from his party. K had heard that a guy he used to work with lived near there, so we drove around trying to find his place. I'm not sure why K was so hell bent on finding this idiot's crappy house. We never did find it and I'm glad. What was K going to do? Stop in and say hello??

Since G had napped in the car, he was up until almost 11:00pm that night.

Yesterday, a sweet, handsome polite little boy came to the door asking for E. His name is Tr!stan and he lives on the next street. He's in E's class, too. I'm so glad E is making new friends. They talked on the front porch for a little while, then E came in to ask if he could go to Tr!stan's house. I told him he could. After a couple of minutes, I looked out the window to see Tr!stan starting up a little mini-dirt bike. I was horrified when I saw my first born child RIDING BITCH on this thing!!!! He was too far down the street for me to scream, "GET THE FUCK OFF THAT THIIIIIIIIIING!!!" and I didn't want to embarrass him in front of his new friend. I made sure they got safely to Tr!stan's house, but when he came back I told him NO MORE RIDING ON THE BACK OF THAT THING!!! (I almost said, "Don't ride bitch on Tr!stan's bike!" Hehehe... ) I knew it wouldn't take long - E has already asked me for a mini-dirt bike like Tr!stan's. They're growing up too fast for me...

Today I'm going to tackle Mt. Iron Me. Wish me luck and have a good day!

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