Friendship - hmph
2004-10-11 at 12:35 p.m.
I have alot on my mind and alot I'd like to write here. Nothing of earth shattering importance, just tidbits of normal daily occurences that I'd like to journal for my own recollection. For some reason, though, I'm having difficulty coming up with the right words. I've typed and deleted probably a hundred words so far today. Nothing is coming out right.
I'm hugely disappointed in a friend right now. I feel like I'm being given the brush off and I'm not sure why. I feel like I've been put on this person's "back-burner".
Whether it's intentional or not, I don't know. I know he has been busy and has alot to deal with right now, but I find that excuse ridiculous. I have three of the most demanding, dependant little monsters on the face of the earth, yet I set aside a few minutes each day to send out emails or make phone calls. We're ALL busy. It's just a matter of making friendships a priority. I guess I'm not as important to him as I thought and it's affecting my day to day goings-on more than I ever thought it would.
I teeter between being hurt and seething with anger. One minute I'm on the verge of tears and the next minute, I'm ready to punch a hole in the drywall.
How hard is it pick up the phone and say "Hi - I was thinking about you and wanted to know how things were going" or to hit REPLY to the many emails I've sent?
Jesus Christ. I know he's off work today - does he have so much going on that he can't spare five minutes of his precious time? He has no kids and he has no wife. In addition to today, he had two other days off the past week. I called him and left several emails. Is it too much to ask to get a reply back?
Evidently, it is.
Goddamnit.