I desire a blind man...
2004-01-07 at 11:21 a.m.
I'm so pissed off.
Anyone else in the world can move into a house, measure for window treatments, buy them, bring them home, hang them, and be done with it.
But not me.
Even with an interior design education from a major university and 37 and a half years of real world experience under my belt, I can't read a tape measure. I measure the window, carefully read the tape, write down the number and head out to buy my goods.
While I'm perusing the plantation faux wood blinds aisle at Lowe's, my windows decide to get a good laugh by changing sizes on me. I get home and the windows all resume their positions as if they've pulled no such prank.
To add insult to injury, the blind manufactuer decided to help out the poor, idiotic, blind-hanging public by already shaving a half inch off the size to assure a good fit. Meaning, that the 34 inch blinds I bought are actually 33 and a half inches wide. Not to mention that the window that was 34 inches wide three days ago are now 35 inches wide, for shits and giggles.
So now, because I'm a blithering idioso and because my windows have it in for me, I get to experience the joy of heading back to Lowe's, sans receipt because I'm too stupid to save such things, and try to exchange an entire upper level full of mis-sized blinds. Until such time, I get the inconvenience of having no privacy due to uncovered windows and the construction workers across the street get the distress of seeing my fat ass in thermal kitty cat pajamas everyday until noon or so when I muster enough strength to get into the shower and dress.
Why does this always happen to me and only me?