Christmas... BAH!
2003-11-17 at 11:31 a.m.
Christmas. Normally, I love it. This year, I just want it over with. I know it�s because of this house thing.
With every new day, I find more wrong with this apartment - more reasons to hate it. The thought of lugging even one more load across the courtyard to the laundry room is more than I can bear. I�m to the point where I�d rather go out and buy all new clothes than deal with that walk to the laundry again.
Back to Christmas. I don't plan to buy the kids a tree this year. I never thought I�d see a Christmas that didn�t involve a tree, but I�m just not up for the challenge of vacumming pine needles for months to come. Besides... where would I put it? The middle of the kitchen floor? The dining room table? The only place there might be room... and the jury is still out on it... is suspended from the living room ceiling in front of the furnace door. Hopefully the kids won�t be too heartbroken that this year, we�ll be sans Tannenbaum.
Tentatively, we plan to spend Christmas Day moving. Not your traditional holiday activity, granted. As soon as I get a key to that house, I�ll be there with armsfull of my belongings, waiting to dump it off. I can�t wait to get the very last trace of everything I own out of this godforsaken place.
This Christmas, I do still plan to participate in some standard holiday rituals. I�m sending out cards. I plan to send them out early so that those who wish to reciprocate will have our current and soon-to-be permanent addresses. I�m also doing a holiday newsletter this year. Usually, I find them in poor taste - especially the ones we get from K�s millionaire niece. The "we�re better than you because we�re fuckin� loaded" newsletter. It goes a little something like this...
�Bippy, our horse-faced daughter has won yet another junior equestrian medal! This one was for looking more like her horse than any other participant.
Tad, our brain damaged son, is finally talking! He can say, �Ah-pane!!� when watching his daddy fly off in his own private jet! What a feat for a child only 13 years old!
See? Our kids are better than yours!
Our house continues to be bigger and better than yours. It overlooks the ocean and yours doesn�t! It has ten bedrooms (that�s two more than last year!) and six baths. We have a maid and you don�t! We have a butler and you don�t!
So have a happy holiday and remember... we�re better than you. Love ya!�
I decided I�d do the same thing on a smaller scale. I mentioned my average children and the average home we�re building. I printed it out onto average Target-bought paper and stuck them into Target-bought cards. There�s gotta be a fine line in our family between white trash and snobby richeys.
___________________________________
Didn�t Clay look and sound amazing last night? I�m so in love with the boy, I can�t see straight or think clearly.
____________________________________
Thirteen days until NOVEMBER 30th!!!
I'm wearing: a white Clay Aiken t-shirt I made, jeans
I'm listening to: "I Melt" by Rascal Flatts
I'm eating/drinking: a piece of gum
Current weather conditions in St. Charles, MO: cloudy, 55 degrees and thunderstorms on the way