All I wanted to do was shower!

2003-10-11 at 10:11 p.m.


It never ceases to amaze me the amount of destruction three children under the age of eight can cause in the twenty minutes or so that it takes me to shower, dry off, apply lotion and get dressed.

As I've mentioned here in the past, the water pressure in this luxury...

*cough*sputter*choke*

... apartment leaves alot to be desired, so I have to rinse my hair under the tub faucet. This is not a glamorous sight to see, so if by chance this entry conjers up images of me on my hands and knees rinsing conditioner out of my hair in a child sized tub, let it go. Let it go! You'll have trouble sleeping.

Anyway, today while I was engaging in this ridiculous act of hygiene, I became aware of a draft... aft. G had come in and opened the shower curtain. He stood there, laughing.

When I emerged from the shower, with a turban on my head and a homemade Clay Aiken bathrobe tied around my large form, I was stunned at what awaited me in every room.

THE KIDS' ROOM They had taken every toy they own and piled them into a pyramid in the center of the room.

MY ROOM My dresser drawers had been ransacked. My freshly made bed had been stripped and my mat-tress was sagging under the weight of a jumping five year old. My closet door was opened and all the videos were lined up, in OCD fashion, with all the labels torn off of them.

FAMILY ROOM The seven year old was asleep on the floor with a thumb in his mouth and his other hand in his pants.

The couch cushions were on the floor. The mini-blinds were raised on one side and lowered on the other. The phone was nowhere to be found. The TV was on the "snow" channel and all the remote controls were lying, in pieces on the floor. A newly folded pile of laundry had been strewn about the room, including three socks swinging, and hanging on for dear life, from the ceiling fan.

Several programs had been opened on my computer and my desktop icons had all been renamed to "zzxxOOkdkdnclke".

A crayon container that had been missing for a week found its way to the two year old, who was now redecorating my dining room table in wax shades of burnt umber and periwinkle, two hues exclusive to Crayola.

KITCHEN The refrigerator and freezer doors were open. There was a CD in the toaster, fortunately not toasting, and the water was running in the sink. Cereal crunched beneath my formerly clean feet. At this very moment, I heard the muffled sound of a ringing phone. I'm fortunate it rang when it did or might never have guessed that the phone had been placed in the rotter drawer of the refrigerator.

When I confronted the two year old, his reply was, "Dah duh!"

The five year old wasn't much more cooperative, replying, "I AM NOT A BUNNY!"

Imagine what would have happened had I shaved my legs, too?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

6 days until my vacation (and do you believe now that I NEED ONE?!)

I'm wearing: pink polo shirt, grey sweats

I'm listening to: the news

I'm eating/drinking: diet cherry coke

Current weather conditions in St. Charles, MO: dark (I have no idea)

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