Who are you??
2004-12-09 at 8:56 a.m.
I like the fact that people want to read my diary. I do. If I didn't, I would lock up and pretend I never made myself known here at diaryland. But sometimes, having an unlocked diary is unsettling. Anyone can read it and I'm helpless to know exactly who is doing so. Sure, I have IP addresses and more times than not, I can tell at least from where these people are reading.
But it isn't enough.
I know who most of my readers are. To those of you, I say thanks. Thanks for finding something - whether it be humor, talent or familiarity - in my words that keeps you coming back. I appreciate you more than you know.
But every so often, someone will come along and bombard my stats with hits. Someone whose IP address is unknown to me, other than a location or internet provider. There's never a referring page. More than likely, this person is someone who stumbled upon my diary purely by accident. They could relate to what they read here, and made it a point to keep coming back.
Many, many, many, many times a day.
Chances are, this person is harmless - most likely she is a mom like me who has kids who drive her to the brink of insanity. Maybe she's a Clay Aiken fan, like me. Maybe it's a "he" who found something in common with my life in some way.
But I have no way of knowing.
Look at it from my point of view. I check my stats several times a day and each time, I find that this strange, unknown, unclaimed IP address has been visiting my diary six times since the last time I checked. How would you feel? Is this a person who really, really likes this crappy diary or am I being stalked?
The anonimity of the internet has its advantages and disavantages. For me, it's a disadvantage. I have to sit here and wonder everyday who's reading my innermost thoughts. For YOU, it's a definite advantage. You know who you are and what your intentions towards me are. And you get to do this without my knowing who you are or what you're all about.
I know I went through the paranoia recently, of thinking someone in particular was reading this when they shouldn't have been. Now, I'm in as big a quandry. I might be overreacting. That is, after all, my middle name. But I can't get over the fact that someone has so much free times on their hands that they're visiting my diary ten to twelve times a day - including the middle of the night. It's bothering me and I want to put my concerns to rest if possible. I have children, after all.
With that said, I need a favor. I don't want to post IP addresses and embarrass someone here who is more than likely an innocent reader, so I'll do it this way. If you are:
~ NOT someone on my buddy list
~ NOT brought here daily by a referring page
~ NOT brought here by way of a weird Google
~ and are here several times a day...
... please email me. I have nothing at all against you and your frequent reading, I just want to put my mind at ease that you're not a stalker. You'd do the same thing if you were in my shoes. We might even like to get to know each other - since you know everything about me and I know nothing about you.
If I can't get to the bottom of this, I'm going to move this diary and only give the URL to people who have listed me as favorites at dland.
Sorry for being paranoid, but Jesus.
P.S. Mail carrier entry to come later today