Hoping to take a trip...
2004-02-17 at 12:30 p.m.
I'm desperately trying to put together a California trip for myself.
I have no idea where I'll come up with the kind of money needed, but I have to find it somewhere. I'm feeling the walls closing in and I need to get away to refuel. Please don't think I'm not grateful for being in this new home, because I am. When I say the walls are closing in, I mean emotionally, not physically.
J is between schools right now, which means he's home all day, everyday. I have no idea what his new school situation is, as I have yet to hear from anyone regarding the situation. He misses the structure school provides him and frankly, with a big house and other kids to tend, I simply can't provide that structure.
He's bored, I know. I can't send him outside because in addition to the front and back yards consisting of nothing but mud, we also have construction trucks going up and down the street all day long. It isn't safe for him to be outside.
Plus, the temperatures aren't exactly conducive to outdoor play. Luckily, Thursday the temps are supposed to be...
!!! 60 !!!
*Sniff, sob* Excuse me.. I always get a little choked up when I hear the word 60 when followed by the word degrees, in the middle of February, the gloomiest month of the year.
I plan to open all the windows and take the kids to the park to run it all off.
Anyway, as I was saying, with J being home and getting on my very last nerve, I my well-being is crying out for a vacation to California.
I really hope I can convince K to help me make this happen. I feel like I'm coming unglued and really need to get some space between the kids and me to refresh. I love my boys so very much. But being home with them 24/7, with no let up, takes its toll on my mind and body. The kids are constantly in my personal space - I can't sit at the computer unbothered, they won't allow me to watch TV, I can't shower alone, pee alone or sleep alone. Someone is always right on top of me, in my face, making demands. I need to refuel in order to be a better Mommy to my sweet boys.
So please send donations to...
Just Kidding.
Keep your fingers crossed for me, nnkay?
CaLiFoRnIa DrEaMiN' on such a winter's DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!