The worst of the worst!
2004-02-17 at 8:14 p.m.
Normally I would wait until tomorrow to give my take on this round of American Idol primaries, but the competition was so appalling tonight, I simply couldn't wait.
I haven't seen such a bad group since auditions. There's the reasoning behind my theory that AI will likely only thrive for another season or two, then there just won't be any talent left.
Let's proceed, shall we?
MA-TT R. ~ I'v never cared for this guy's attitude. He always seemed to be an asshole and he proved that tonight. I find it very difficult to believe he's only 25 - he looks old enough to be one of K's friends. Vocally, I thought he was okay. The song was horrible for him. It came across as loungy and plastered, as if he was doing a bad imitation. Even if I did like his singing - his attitude would ruin it for me. Buh bye!
BRE ~ This girl is absolutely perplexed. Is she or isn't she? I mean... pick a gender already. She has a beautiful voice and a pretty face, were it not hidden behind the butch haircut and tattoes (no hate mail, please - I'm entitled to my opinion. Tattooes on bony shoulder blades are not asthetically pleasing.) Her song choice was atrocious and didn't show her true talent at all. I could have sung as well. GONE.
NOEL ~ He made a complete mockery of the entire competition. He wasted everyone's time by going on stage and sucking as bad as he did. The entire song was off key and agonizingly painful to endure. I may send him a bill for my having to sit through it. ELIMINATED!
KARA ~ This is another of those blank faced competitors who I can never seem to remember. Did she audition? I don't remember. She does nothing for me. Her voice was weak, her song choice was weak, her look is weak. I was bored to sleep by her performance. OUTTA HERE!
LISA L. ~ Oh my god, I can't stand this girl. I don't know what it is about her... maybe it's the Edie Brickell hair or the gap in the teeth. Maybe it's that she has a figure not much better than mine, but whatever it is, she irks the hell out of me. I concede that she may go on tonight, because she sucked the least of all eight, but I just can't warm up to this girl.
JESUS ~ Oh Jesus. Literally. I can't even find words for how badly this guy sucked ass. He'll be voted off tonight so fast his head will spin.
CAMILE ~ She's a beautiful girl. I've always thought Hawaiian women to be the most beautiful women on earth. She has a nice voice with a nice range. She was good, but I wasn't at all blown away by her. I think she'll go through, simply because of the judges comments, but she won't go much further (unless next week's show suck as bad as this one did).
MARISA ~ Eh. She was okay. She's reasonably pretty. She was okay vocally. I absolutely HATED her version of that song. She's another one with an attitude. There has to be a fine line between confidence and "I don't give a shit what you think of me". She hasn't found it.
Lord, let next week be better! Please! I think I'm already going to set my sights on Eric Yoder. Maybe it's because he's the cutest of the bunch or because Simon told him he was Clay Aiken. (He's not. Not even close.) Or maybe it was because he waited on me at Banana Republic in the mall. Whatever the reason, he may be my pick for the season, but it's still to early to tell. I'll keep you advised.
I desperately need a drink after these performances tonight. I'm off to see what we have. Good evening.