She rambles! She rambles!
2004-04-13 at 1:44 p.m.
I've tidyed (sp??) up my buddy list a bit. There were people listed who haven't updated their diaries in months. In order to make things a little neater and easier for me to navigate, I deleted some, at least temporarily. I didn't do so in an attempt to offend anyone and I hope I haven't. If you're on the deleted list and start to write in your diary again, please let me know and I'll happily re-add you!
I have a zit on my chin the size of Nebraska. As a teenager, I had smooth, flawless skin. As a soon-to-be 40 year old woman, I have a painful round, red Buick sedan parked on my jaw. What gives?
I smell like a man today. A freshly-showered man, but a man nonetheless. See, I ran out of deodorant yesterday and had to borrow K's after my shower today. Not only do I smell like a GQ model, I also feel sticky. My deodorant is a dry solid that goes on dry and powdery and smells like a fresh field of flowers. K's is a gel that goes on sticky and smells like a locker room.
I must get to Target.
I have to provide some Swan commmentary... who is doing the hair on these makeovers?? Why is everyone opting for big, poofy Knot's Landing-type extensions instead of a nice, flattering razor cut bob or shag?
I'm floored by the number of women who request a "D" cup when entering into surgery. As someone who wore a "B" cup in third grade, I can't for the life of me understand why anyone would want big t!ts. I find them cumbersome and uncomfortable. I would ADORE having small, simple perky little mosquito bites. The girls last night looked like they would topple over in a stiff breeze. At least if they fell forward, they'd be cushioned from the blow.
Everyone also opts for the "pouty" lips that look as if they've received bee stings to which they were highly allergic. I would love to have fuller lips than I do, but these girls look like they're ready to give BJs at any given moment.
But it doesn't change the fact that I love the show and won't stop watching. These are just mere observations.
Here's my list, should I ever be offered a complete, full body makeover:
~ hair cut/color/highlights
~ get rid (by laser, possibly?) the dark circles under my eyes
~ remove bump from bridge of nose, perfect the tip
~ make lips SLIGHTLY fuller, not Cher's "lipstick on a vagina" look
~ lipo everything
~ breast reduction - to a nice managable 36B
~ tummy tuck
~ laser remove all scars
But with my luck, I'd be on another show soon afterwards... "When Anesthesia Fails"
Oh well, it was just a dream...
I'm rambling, so it's time to stop.